The Biggest Mistake

The biggest mistake I think I did was give you a second chance.

Then I ended up giving you a third, then a fourth, then a fifth, then I gave you more.

I gave you more chances as I gave more of myself. That was the biggest mistake I did.

But then you changed. And all of those mistakes made more sense as I knew you more and more. I was blindly giving you so many chances. What’s more devastating was it was okay for me because I loved you that much.

I forgave you when you forgot lunch, which I had prepared almost a day for. I forgave you when you talked behind my back, killing me with your every word. I forgave you when you liked my best friend when you said that you loved me with every inch of your soul, ’cause God knows I loved you with every inch of mine. I forgave you for basically everything you did. And I was so happy when you changed, because that means everything I did was worth it. It was great to see my efforts survive the metaphorical shower drain.

And then you changed again, and this time, you changed for what seemed to be worse.

Because you left. With every breath I begged you to stay. But you didn’t. And that was fine, because you wanted to go. I hoped that you were forced to go so much that you didn’t have an option left. But unfortunately, it was your choice. And it hurts so much because it was your choice. You wanted it. And I loved you that much. So much that I let you go. I set you free, to roam the world. To see the world from the box you were put in since you were a child.

But as you walked a distance away, going further and further, I was silently wishing that you will return. And you didn’t. Because you found someone new. And you loved her so much, that you saying my name was a sin. It hurts to be a chapter of yours when you’re my whole book.

And now I’m having mixed emotions. Because I think the biggest mistake I have actually made was letting you go.


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